Touch Me I'm Sick

2 years ago. . .

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 04:57:58 GMT

on this date at this time, me, mars, matt, christina & john were prolly chillen out in the tents in matts back yard. . .crazy stuff. . .

Yeah so the past 5 days or so have been great. . .simply amazing w/matt. . .things are getting so much better and I haven’t been happier. . .but I do kinda feel like shit, cuz idk, I haven’t seen my friends much, I mean—I have a reason why ive been spending so much time w/matt cuz of prom n shit. . and I wanna spend a lotta time w/him while things are starting to get great, jus 2 keep it goin for a while. . .but I realize I haven’t seen mars or chris or kel or n e one a lot lately. . .and I wanna, but I also wanna see matt. . .so yeah im gonna start hanging out w/my friends more I hope—the guys are busy w/work a lot so that’s ok haha but I gotta def start hanging out w/the girls

But either way I still love spending time w/matt. . we visited mars @ DD 2day and as we were walkin out he gave me a kinda sideways hug and I kissed him, and this older guy in his 50’s was like “that’s not how u kiss a girl, here lemme show u!” and kissed his wife or gf or something. . it was so funny/cute I loved it, and matts like “I’m sorry u have more experience than me” and the guy was like “here come here and let me show u” (sayin it 2 me not matt lol) it was cute. . .def enjoyed that

“last year I wouldn’t of thought we’d be together another year. . .but now, I look forward to summer with you, and your uncle’s fourth of july party. . .and going to Vermont”
wow, I don’t really think I can imagine NOT being w/you for another year. . .

One More Day

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 06:44:57 GMT

til i've been goin out w/matt for 2 years. . .until the day i typed Y-E-S Hahahahah, sorry

but yeah, i'm not one 2 count down the days til things. . .ok maybe until the end of school or somethin, but idk, i'm just so happy right now, just figured i'd write somethin in this thing. . .havent really written much since summer started but i guess ive been busy

blink concert this saturday. . .its gonna b fun i think. . .THINK

prom was good, ending kinda got fucked up but we fixed that. . .dancing in the Highland parking lot to "heres to the night" made things SO much better. . made me happier, and brought back memories to what got us goin out in the first place hehe

saw maryellen and alex 2day too which was cool. . .but alex can't drive. . well hes stupid and while we wer in his car we hit a guardrail, but its ok and no one was hurt and neither was the car. . .it was funny actually. .

and its been a great week so far. . well start of one. . .i was supposed 2 accompany matt in his senior skip day 2 the beach w/some ppl but its supposed 2 rain so im gonna work instead

but 2night was amazing, jus watchin a movie and tv w/matt. . .prolly one of the best days since ive been home w/him. . .

"you might just be one of the best things that has happened to me so far" -- couldn't of said it better myself, and couldn't of found n e thing thats made me feel so good before. . .wow, i love being back home

Whatever

Fri, 28 May 2004 05:20:37 GMT

A day later and i already regret writing the end of that previous journal entry. . .fucking amazing how much can change in just a day. . .

Summer Update?

Thu, 27 May 2004 04:52:09 GMT

Yeah sooooooooooo, this summer. . .been pretty damn good so far

I guess the best part about it is that I can see matt everyday, and all my friends.

Ive seen matt basically everyday so far, and seen drew, tom, pat, aj and ryan a lot too. . .mostly drew and someone else though cuz all the rest have jobs hahahah. . . .and ive done my visit 2 DD 2 visit mars while makin a fool of myself in front of customers. . and ive seen Christina, and kel too.

On my way home I stopped at Toms Diner so I could give him 5 coronas so I owe him less money. . .yeah def hadta clear those out b4 I got home, along w/the 10 other beer boxes in my car haha

Also Def got 2 see mars & brian when I got home. . and we had a lil adventure of our own. . driving around tryin 2 find a diner, and when we couldn’t brian thought of a great idea that we should eat in a hospital cafeteria. Sooooo we drove 2 midstate in meriden and went in the hospital but the café was closed L .. .ahh well it was worth it and one day we will eat in one. . but u know who can suck a dick? (yeah im usin crissys phrase). . matt cerasale or however u spell his last name. . haha, he goes 2 brian “ur not gonna spend ur whole summer w/Amanda and marlena again are you?”. . umm ok 1. brian didn’t spend his whole summer w/us! 2. brian can hang out w/whoever the fuck he wants 3. groups get old, let it go 4. me n mars are FUCKING COOL so whoever wants 2 hang out w/us is smart!

Ive seen alex 3 times already. . .once for lunch, once at DD when he was in Wallingford, and once when me n mars had an adventure down 2 new haven. . It was a lot of fun, we ate at Tai Tastes and embarrassed ourselves many times in the streets of new haven while alex thought I was CRAZY. We made sure 2 embarrass him 2. . .

Drews bday was May 22^nd. . went 2 his house and got 2 see everyone, good fun times . . . not clean though. . had a cake fight—it was a lot of fun.. also played vball. . then went 2 the diner w/drew, aj, pat, ryan, sam and kim where the 2 other girls decided they were gonna mud wrestle. . yeah prolly NOT. . def wasn’t gonna take part in that hahaha. . but it was amazing to see the guys again.. .all 5 of them. . .i missed them a lot and it feels good 2 be back in Wallingford bein near them and able 2 talk 2 them more--especially chillen outside talkin about n e thing

Hmm idk what else ive really done,. .. been working a lot. . and then jus goin 2 matts for the night or chillen w/him somewhere. ..but that’s whats so great—bein able 2 do all that again. . lay w/him on the couch watchin movies. . .and bein able 2 jus call him and go 2 my house. . the whole last month at college I didn’t wanan go home. . but bein able 2 see matt whenever I want and be able 2 jus chill w/him instead of feelin like we gotta go out or do something when im home for the few days is amazing. . .now I know what I looked forward 2 most for the summer. . .

AND ITS THUNDERING! AMAZING! AND RAIN. . .SINFULLY AMAZING

Goodbye

Sat, 15 May 2004 07:08:18 GMT

Last night @ Marist was unforgettable. . .w/me and brian settin up beer pong in my room, then playing kings w/ashley & alex, then goin to Toucans w/them 3 and meeting Justin, Jeff, Mike Temb, Mikey Moo, Jimmy, and others there. Amazing time. . .got in w/this girl kelly’s ID 2 min after she used it. . and the bouncer knew too, “you know what’s funny? 2 minutes ago someone used the same exact ID!” “Really?” “Yeah, not even 2 minutes ago” “ok. . . .” “Alright, go in”

Hahaha well it was a night 2 remember, then me ash and bri went 2 the deli for the last time this year to get our sandwiches (and buffalo wings!) and ate them in the lounge. . .Don stopped by at 2 to say goodbye, we all talked a while----no one wanted to go. No one wanted 2 be the first one 2 leave and no one wanted 2 realize we wouldn’t see each other for 3 more months. Brian refused 2 say goodnight 2 me and give me a hug cuz he wanted 2 make me say bye 2 him in the morning. . .he didn’t seem 2 sad to leave, but u could tell he was too…gonna miss him so much also. Said goodbye 2 Don which was pretty hard too; we may have jus become friends the past couple weeks but hes really cool and im glad I met him, no matter how much controversy he may have caused, it was good times and I hope we all stay in touch over the summer.

Morning comes and there’s a knock on my door. . .its un-sentimental Justin (hehe). . .but he’s there 2 say goodbye, and its weird, I didn’t think he’d care 2 say goodbye, I didn’t think he’d b sad 2 leave cuz he said he wouldn’t. . But when I saw him I could tell he didn’t wanna leave, or at least say goodbye, he actually was gonna miss us.. .and I’m gonna miss him…hes by far the weirdest kid I met at Marist and I love that about him. . .and it sux he lives in cali cuz we cant see him. . .unless he comes 2 visit brian in Connecticut haha!

Well I cleaned up my room, and got everything 2gether and then steve, alex and mike bean came 2 help me bring the stuff down. . we got everything packed w/the guys organizing skills and then jus chilled in my room. . .the time came and Alyssa checked my room and then locked the door. . .all we had to do is leave and that would be the last time I would be in Leo 525…we all slowly walk out and look back…so many memories, so much fun, crazy times. . .it was hard closing the door. Then I said goodbye 2 mike and steve, I know ill be seein them next yr but Im so used 2 seein them everyday! 3 months is gonna b hard, and Im gonna miss them. Alex walked me 2 my car—yeah, we live 20 min away from eachother—but hes getting a job, I have one and its not like we have the same friends back home, its gonna b hard 2 see him, and me n him have become such great friends this year that it was really hard sayin bye 2 him. . .we hugged and I jus told him how happy I was 2 have met such a great friend. . .i think he had trouble talking. . .but its ok, i know how much we will all miss eachother. . .then I got in the car and drove away. . .away from my home for the past 8 months, away from my friends that I spent everyday with and could see ANY TIME I wanted to. . away from my first year in college and towards my town that I had been gone from for so long.

On the ride home I wanted 2 listen 2 mine and alexs AA cd but hadta listen 2 my BLUE cd. . .i couldn’t stop thinking about all the memories I had this year. . .the greatest times. . .ill never forget

Few scenes from my life or moments mean more to me than our fine nights,
I remember like yesterday, the time of my life

AWWWWWW!

Thu, 13 May 2004 06:33:42 GMT

gotta love maryellen. . .

SUNSHINEL667: hey amanda i'm gonna miss u so much
OrangeRain18: aw im gonna miss you too!!!
SUNSHINEL667: we better chill at least once or so in the summer
SUNSHINEL667: well i am going to go tgalk to lisa....but i will ttyl...good luck on ur finals...come visit me tomorrow...i will miss u incredible...thanks for being a tru friend amanda...i love u!!!

oooh and good lyrics nicks showin me:
"With each word left unsaid.
With each feeling left un-shown
One thousand times the urge to show you exactly how much you meant to me.
Why did it have to end so soon?
Moments after you said, "I love you,"
Or so it seemed
(God I loved hearing those words)
I need to grow up."
________________
~Curfews, Alcohol, and Other Jealousy Related Incidents~ Anterrabae

yummmmmmmm

X

Thu, 13 May 2004 06:31:57 GMT

yeah so last night went 2 the something corporate concert. . HOLY SHIT was it amazing.. woodbelly was REALLY good and kinda basically sounded like sublime. . met some cool kids that got us into the pit--good job. . then the next band Rocket Summer came on. they were OKAY, but the lead singer was gay, not that thats bad, but idk it was jus funny. . specially 2 see in that band. . anyways, the concert was fun, i went w/crissy, ashley and joe. . good times.. .ashley and me got hit in the head pretty bad, i got hit in the face in the mosh pit, yes the mosh pit. . and then a girls belt gashed my figner while crowd surfing. . its really bad and has been bleedin for a day, i should prolly get it checked out but i dont give a fuck
so yeah, DEF made fun of some 'valley girls' that believed me n joe didnt know who something corporate was, and that were asking why everyone was pushing. . it was funny, crissy def got a kick out of it and couldnt look at me while i was talkin 2 them in a valley girl voice batting my eyelashed and clearly making fun of them. . yeah and def accientally grabbed the lead singer of something corporates crotch when he crowd surfed. . .he almost fell on me. . good shit. . came back 2 the room and was sweaty as fuck, it was a great concert. . me n joe had a good convo online goin from popcorn to beauty in the media. . great stuff. . .also had an interesting convo w/don over who was meaner hahaha

yeaaaaaaaaaaaah soooooo finals suck. . its 2:20AM and i have an 8 and 1030 final. .this sux . im so fuckin lazy. . .
but i also have my priorites fucked up. . .crissy calls me up askin if i wanna drink w/her alex, and maryellen, so im like umm OKAY its crissy last night out so we decide to. . in the end. . me crissy alex brian justin and maryellen go 2 sunoco buy drinks (me n maryellen split a 6 of apple smirnoff. . and play never have i ever in the sketchy ass park. . FUN STUFF. . .great times w/these ppl im gonna miss them so much

especially my roommate.. i got so fucking lucky. . found someone basically just like me--well musically wise kinda. . and we both dont like girls, me n her are basically opposites shyness wise and stuff but we get along great. . lucky shit. . .def gonna miss her!

great times a marist. . .its been a great year. .

yeah me n brian went to dunkin donuts 2day. . or yesterday however u wanna see it. . .and we were talkin about how we are lookin forward 2 summer and goin home, but like after the first 4 weeks well b ready 2 come back . and thats SO true. . well kidna basically. . . cuz i can do SO MUCh up here, and if i get bored i can walk 2 sunoco or go out or chill w/whoever i want, but at home, ppl will be at work or away, and i cant party or n e of that. . i love bein able 2 go out when i want and come back when i want, and be able 2 go 2 the 3rd floor at 3am and find SOMEONE awake. and then i also realize. . of course i cant wait 2 see my friends back home but im really gonna miss the ones up here. . .it hasnt hit me that im really not gonna wake up n see crissy, or have alex callin me every second, or have justins random questions or brian askin me for my calculator. . .its crazy stuff, but i mean, idk if i wanna go hoem that bad

Annoying

Wed, 12 May 2004 18:09:35 GMT

yeah. i def should be studying, what the fuck

and ok yeah i hate those stupid little love quotes and stupid little quotes that gfs or bfs have to their 'significant other' but idk, i really like this one. . .so im jus puttin it up cuz its cute. . .

A girl asked a boy if she was pretty, he said no...
She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever, he said no...
Then she asked him if he would cry if she walked away, he said no...
She heard too much, she needed to leave...
As she walked away he pulled her back and told her to stay,
He said...you're not pretty you're beautiful...
I don't wanna be with you forever, I need to..
I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die....

yes pathetic i know. . .but so damn cute. . .fucking hell

Hmmmm

Tue, 11 May 2004 13:12:06 GMT

Yeah, so since Crissy let her grandmother take her tv home, we have nothing to watch our shows on, on monday, tues, and wed nights. . .but we manage
last night we used joe's & justin's room since both guys seemed 2 be out. . .it was pretty interesting
i kinda wish i lived on the 3rd floor, its funny, about 10 ppl stopped by while we were in the room, crazy shit

first crissy starts off with her "this sounds bad, but i cant fit it all in my mouth" quote, talking about eating a cookie quickly--funny stuff

then dolan walks in in only a towel and starts dancing. . .but then realizes that instead of 2 guys in the room, 2 girls are sitting on the bed looking at him shocked and laughing, yeaaah he was pretty damn surprised, it was hilarious

the jeff comes in asking where the asian kid was. . .i felt like tellin him he was standing in the doorway lol

theeeen james comes in, tries 2 leave but then hits his head on the way out

it was a pretty humorous time in room 308